Mother’s Day 2020: How the COVID 19 Lockdown has Brought Balance

For all the moms balancing life right now and those who are concerned about their mothers during the COVID 19 Lockdown, I hope you and your loved ones enjoy Mother’s Day today.   I am writing this in bed with a my wonderful 10-year old son curled up next to me.  He’s watching YouTube videos on Nintendo game tips (or “hacks” as he calls them). Not even realizing it is Mother’s Day, my son said to me, “Mommy, I’m so happy we’re together again.  I love you.” And he kissed my cheek, melting my heart.  He is constantly reminding me how fortunate I am to spend this time with him and the ability to work from home.  

It’s not all unicorns and rainbows.  I often worry that I am not providing my son adequate homeschooling or the attention he needs and deserves. We seem to just barely keep up with the minimum schoolwork requirements on crazy days.  My son has autism, and I am concerned he is not receiving the services he needs.  Some days, we end up not walking outside or exercising.  We are not keeping up with the pre-pandemic mindfulness practices we had incorporated into our daily routine.  And I feel like I am losing the battle to make sure my son is eating more than chicken nuggets, pizza, and Oreo cookies.  

Then there’s work.  I am an economic recovery consultant and I work with communities after major economic disruptions.  I have my own business and suddenly found my subject matter expertise in significant demand.  It was becoming increasingly apparent that many communities do not have a frame of reference to work with recovery and could use my help.  How was I going to provide my services to support communities through this unprecedented lockdown? 

My work typically requires me to spend a considerable amount of time away from home.  While it is heartbreaking to be away from my son while on work-related travel and long-term assignments, my work and home life were compartmentalized. The current economic disruption created a sudden shift with overnight increased demand as a parent, caregiver, and economic recovery consultant.  The article I had written on “Leadership during Economic Recovery” in Thrive Global provided principles that I needed to incorporate into my everyday life.  I began to implement a recovery leadership mindset to balance being a single parent and operating my business from home.  Here are some of the key strategies I have been using:

• Delegate as much as you can and be gracious for support
• Set boundaries and manage expectations for yourself and others
• Prioritize self-care for a calm mindset 
• Embrace uncertainty and change by leaning into challenges and self-doubt
• Provide supportive and empathic work and home environments
• Acceptance that these strategies and your priorities may change 

Everyone is experiencing this lockdown differently and we all have unique challenges managing work/life balance.  But for our situation, my son and I are constantly evolving during this process by utilizing these strategies.  Suddenly, all the snack wrappers, juice boxes, laundry, toys, and gaming accessories spread all over the house do not irritate me.  We are creating rewards systems to encourage independent housework and schoolwork. We’re trying to have designated time every day for exercise, time outside, and mutual entertainment not involving screens.  I’m learning about Nintendo and vintage Atari and he’s learning time management skills.  I’m helping him with reading comprehension; and I have learned that my son learns better with shorter sessions and 1:1 prompting.  My son loves learning about how I create video posts for work, and we are now making them for fun together.   We’ve scheduled online zoom meetings with his teachers, therapists, and doctors every week since it takes a village.   I also know I cannot work on my own and I am collaborating with others to scale out my business.  Through this challenge, my son and I are focusing on the positives of this situation and we both know how incredibly fortunate we are to have each other.